Two Truths and a Lie
by hxchick
Summary: What happens when the BAU team members get bored on their flight home? Secrets come pouring out.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is owned by CBS. I own nothing but my imagination.

**This story was written in response to Kavi Leighanna and Sienna27's Novels and Short Story Titles #4-Lawrence Block_._**

_**Prom**__**pt: Telling Lies for Fun & Profit**_

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The team was heading back to Quantico from a small town in Utah. The case they had worked hadn't been particularly brutal or hard to solve, but it had been boring. Called in as a special favor to the Utah Governor, the team had been sent to profile some state employees who were thought to be embezzling state funds. After many tedious interviews, and pouring through state records, the team determined that no one was stealing the money; it was simply a result of shoddy record keeping. Once the team made the determination, they had to explain it to numerous bureaucrats, and by the end of the week, they were all ready to put themselves out of their miseries.

As a result of working such a boring case, most of them had some pent up energy. Garcia, who had come along in order to comb through the computer records, finally suggested a game about an hour into their flight.

"Sounds fun," Emily said, "But what game? It's not like the government stocks the jet with _Monopoly_ or _Scrabble._"

JJ scrunched her head in thought, "What about truth or dare?"

Derek snorted, "What, are we thirteen? Why not just play spin the bottle?"

JJ glared at him as she moved closer to the core group sitting around the table and on the settee. "Well what do you suggest, Derek?" JJ asked tensely.

Hoping to defuse a fight between her two best friends, Garcia interjected, "I don't think there would be enough room on the jet for some of the dares I would issue," she told her blonde friend.

"What do you suggest Rossi?" Emily asked, knowing the older agent must have played some pretty wild games in his time.

"Leave me out of this," he said, not looking up from his newspaper.

Emily rolled her eyes at him, "Fine, how about you Hotch, any suggestions?"

He shook his head, still reading the case file in front of him, "I'm with Rossi, leave me out of it."

"I've got it!" Garcia shrieked suddenly. "We'll play _Two Truths and a Lie_."

"What's that?" Reid asked, also moving closer to the group.

"We played it at the sexual harassment training that Derek and I had to attend last week-"

_That _got Dave's attention, "You and Morgan were forced to attend a sexual harassment seminar? Get out of town!" His words were dripping with both amusement and sarcasm.

"Hey! Glass houses, Agent Rossi," Garcia said. "You were used as an example of what NOT to do no less than twenty-seven times!"

Dave looked rather proud of himself as he resumed reading his newspaper.

"How do you play?" JJ asked, not as well versed in the activities that take place during the seminars as her colleagues apparently were.

"It's easy," Penelope told her, "You tell us two truthful things about yourself and one lie and the rest of us have to figure out what the lie is."

"Sounds fun, I'm in," Emily said enthusiastically from her seat next to Hotch.

"Me too," JJ said.

"Yeah, I'll play," Derek said. "Reid?"

Thinking about it for a second, the genius nodded, "Sure."

Tapping his newspaper, JJ asked, "What about you, Rossi?"

To everyone's surprise, he nodded. "Sure, I'm game." Seeing their surprised faces, he grinned. "We played it at the sexual harassment seminar _I_ had to attend two weeks ago and it was fun."

From his seat, Hotch muttered, "I just love the fact that nearly half of my team has been ordered to attend sexual harassment training in the last month."

Grinning, Emily asked, "What about you Hotch?"

Looking around at his teammates, he knew he should play, if only to be a good sport. "Fine," he said and everyone smiled.

The various team members took a couple of minutes to think of what they would say and then the game began with Garcia.

"Okay, here's my stuff," she said. "One, I'm not a natural blonde. Two, I wanted to be a corporate lawyer when I grew up. Three, I didn't get my first computer until I moved away to college."

There was a minute or two of silence before Derek piped up, "I'm gonna say the corporate lawyer thing is the lie. No offense Baby Girl, but I can't really see you putting on a suit and defending large companies."

Reid nodded, "I'm going to go with that one as well."

JJ shook her head, "The not being a natural blonde is the lie," she said confidently and Emily agreed with her.

Hotch, who had been studying Garcia, said, "No, I think it's the not having a computer until she was eighteen. I can see Garcia effectively arguing _anything_, and that's essentially what a good lawyer does."

"I'm with Hotch," Dave said, "Besides; she would have needed many years to study that computer crap."

"So how about it Princess, who's right?" Morgan asked.

Garcia grinned, "JJ and Emily guessed it."

"Pfft," JJ said, waving her hand, "That was no _guess_! It's pretty hard to hide your blond roots, Pen. They contrast heavily with your newly dyed red hair."

"You really wanted to be a corporate lawyer?" Derek asked in shock.

Garcia nodded, "Yeah, I aspired to it in order to rebel from my hippie parents. They were…interesting. It's also why I never had a computer until I bought my own in college. My parents saw it as a way for the government to track them."

"You really learned all of that computer mumbo jumbo in the last ten years?" Dave was shocked; it would take him a lifetime to learn how to do half of the things their computer goddess could do in minutes.

"Ten years? Just how young do you think I am, sir? And I could teach you a lot if you would just give me a weekend of your time."

"Not gonna happen Garcia, I can use email, surf the interweb and use my Word program, that's all I need." Dave told her resolutely.

Garcia snorted at his use of the word 'interweb.' What was this, 1994? Shaking her head, she asked, "Who's next?"

"I'll go," Derek volunteered. "Here are my items. One, I call my mother every Sunday. Two, I was once winged by a bullet because my lover's husband came home early. Three, I preemptively shave my head because male pattern baldness runs in my family."

"Number two is a lie," Dave said immediately. "You may be a hound dog, but I can't believe you'd sleep with a married woman." Emily, JJ, Reid and Hotch all agreed with Rossi, while Garcia was torn.

"I don't want to believe you'd sleep with a married woman," she said, biting her lip, "But I also don't want to imagine you slowly going bald and trying to cover it up with a toupee or a comb over." She thought for a minute, "I'm going to say number three is the lie."

Derek shook his head, "Sorry Garcia, the others are right."

"So if you didn't shave your head, you would be some bald loser?" She screeched.

"I don't know; that's why I shave my head…I don't want to find out!" He told her and then looked around at the team. "I'm glad you all think I'd never sleep with a married woman, but none of you questioned me calling my mother every Sunday?"

Emily shook her head, "Nope, you're a mama's boy."

"Well thanks Prentiss," he said sarcastically. "How about you go next?"

"Okay," she agreed. "One, I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. Two, I was once trying on a teddy at Victoria's Secret when I stepped out of the dressing room to get my friend's opinion and I got locked out. Three, I once kicked a Saudi Prince in the crotch because he put the moves on me at one of my mother's galas."

There was dead silence as everyone on the plane processed everything Emily had said.

"It scares me that two of those stories are true," Reid said quietly.

Everyone laughed at his reaction. "I'm going to say that number one is the lie." Derek said. "Because if it isn't, I don't know how I'll ever be able to watch you eat a sundae again." One of Emily's guilty pleasures was a good ice cream sundae, and she usually had one at the end of each case.

"I'm going to agree with Morgan on this one, for the same reason," Dave said.

JJ shook her head, "No, number three has to be the lie. Can you see Emily losing her cool at one of her mother's functions?" Garcia agreed with her friend, while Reid and Hotch thought number two was the lie.

"Who would ever tell that story if it was true?" Reid asked and Hotch agreed.

"Sorry Reid, JJ was right, number three is the lie. Although in all honesty JJ, the only lie in there was that I didn't kick him in the crotch, I punched him in the face."

"Really?" JJ laughed.

Prentiss nodded, "Yup, broke his nose. My mother was _so_ pleased."

"Wait, you really got locked out of your dressing room at Vickie's Secret?" Garcia asked incredulously.

Both Emily and JJ laughed, "Yeah," JJ said, "Who do you think the friend was?"

While JJ regaled the team by telling them about their shopping trip, Hotch leaned in towards Emily. "You'll have to show me that tongue trick later tonight," he whispered in her ear.

She smiled back at him, "If you play your cards right, I'll show you a whole lot more than that. Who do you think I was buying the teddy for?"

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_A/N 2- This will be a two-part story. Look for the second part in the next day or two._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is owned by CBS. I own nothing but my imagination.

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"So who's next?" Derek asked mischievously.

"I'll go," JJ volunteered. "Here's my information. One, I never wanted to have kids. Two, I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. Three, I loved life in a small town."

There was a minute of silence before Dave broke it. "Is it a new policy that female agents have to be orally proficient?" He asked Hotch, imagining JJ's tongue tricks. "And if it is, why the hell didn't I know about it?"

Hotch, who was just as shocked as his best friend, shook his head. "I'm just as surprised as you are!"

Reid swallowed hard, "I think number one is the lie, you're too good with Henry not to have wanted kids." Derek nodded his agreement with the genius, while Emily shook her head.

"I think number two is the lie," she said confidently. "You like the big city too much."

Garcia shook her head, "Number three is the lie; I've been to too many bars with you and I know you would have used that trick before." Hotch and Dave wouldn't even hazard a guess at this one, in the interest of sparing themselves sexual harassment training…well, _another_ sexual harassment training in Dave's case.

JJ grinned, "Garcia was right, number three was the lie; it just sounded so cool when you said it, Emily."

Everyone laughed and then Spencer agreed to go next. "Here are my truths and a lie. One, I know where Gideon is and we talk a couple of times a year. Two, I once failed a math test in college. Three, as a kid, I was on _Teen Jeopardy_."

Derek didn't need a minute to think about his answer, "Number two _has _to be the lie! Can anyone see Reid flunking _anything_?"

Everyone except Rossi agreed with Derek. "Number one is the lie," he said confidently.

"How did you know?" Spencer asked him, a little surprised that the older agent was able to read him so well.

"Because _I_ actually do talk to Gideon a couple of times a year and he's never mentioned keeping in contact with you," Rossi told him gently.

"Oh," Reid said, trying to process what Rossi had just told him.

"Wait, you failed a math test in college?" Derek couldn't believe it.

Spencer nodded, "I was twelve and my mom was in one of her funks. I thought if I failed a test, it would bring her out of it, at least enough to get mad at me, but it didn't work."

There was silence until Penelope spoke up, "How did we not know you were a contestant on _Teen Jeopardy_?"

The young genius winced; he really wished he hadn't told them that. "Because I pulled Cindy Brady and lost badly." Most of the agents knew what he meant and began laughing, but he had to explain it to Rossi. "Once the cameras turned on, I froze."

"I am SO finding that episode on Youtube!" Garcia cackled, while Reid turned red with embarrassment. He knew if anyone could find the episode, it would be their technical analyst.

Rossi smiled, "I guess I'm next." The rest of the team nodded, so he began to give his truths and a lie. "One, I'm allergic to dogs. Two, rumors of my debauchery back in the day have been greatly exaggerated. Three, I hate to fly."

"The dog thing is your lie," Emily said confidently, knowing the man had a big chocolate lab waiting for him at home.

JJ shook her head, "It has to be the exaggerated libido; I've heard rumors about the old David Rossi, and believe me, no one could keep up that pace without massive amounts of protein supplements and/or drugs." Everyone else agreed with JJ and Rossi finally nodded, but gave a sly grin.

"Actually the lie in number three is that the rumors haven't been exaggerated. If anything, people have been lowballing the numbers," he said wickedly.

Everyone groaned and laughed at this. "Wait," Emily said, "You're really allergic to dogs?"

Dave nodded, "I discovered that right after I adopted Mudgie, but by that time I had already bonded with him and there was no way I was going to give him up, so I take daily allergy medications."

"All that for a dog," Spencer said, shaking his head.

Garcia grinned at the exchange, and then turned to Hotch. "You're the last one, mon Capitan!" She told him.

"Okay," he said taking a deep breath. He knew he was taking a risk with his, but he needed to get it out in the open. "One, I've never dated a co-worker. Two, I took a woman's studies class in college and failed it. Three, I can cook just about anything."

"Number two is the lie," Garcia said. "Can you imagine the bossman failing _anything_?"

Spencer and Derek agreed with her, while JJ thought it was number two. Dave gave his boss a funny look and said number one was the lie, much to the amusement of his co-workers, and Emily abstained from giving her opinion. Instead she sat in her seat, looking unnaturally pale.

"Number one is the lie," Hotch told them and then waited for their reactions.

"You failed a woman's studies course Hotch?" Derek said, almost on the floor laughing.

Hotch gave a rueful grin, "Well, that class wasn't what I thought it would be about when I signed up for it."

Dave snorted while JJ marveled at the fact that her unit chief was a good cook. Finally he saw the light bulb go on in Garcia's head. "Wait, so you've dated a co-worker before?" She asked and he nodded. "Which one?" Garcia wanted details.

Not knowing what to say, he just looked at Emily, who gripped his hand and then cleared her throat. "Me," she said.

Once again there was silence, which Hotch broke. "Look guys, we didn't mean to deceive you, but we didn't want Strauss or anyone else breathing down our necks until we were sure it was going to work out."

"And is it working out?" Dave asked quietly.

Both Hotch and Emily nodded in unison, "It is Dave," Hotch told him. "I love her."

"And I love him," Emily said softly. She couldn't believe Aaron had done this. She had been pushing him for awhile to make their relationship public knowledge, but he'd been dragging his heels with it. She was happy he'd finally decided to share their happiness with the team.

"How long has it been going on?" Garcia asked.

"For about six months," Emily told her, feeling like a horrible friend for keeping this from her.

There was more silence, when suddenly Reid piped up, "I win!"

"Win, what do you mean you win?" Hotch asked, confused.

"I had six months in the betting pool. I'm just glad we played this stupid game, otherwise it might have gone to seven months."

"BETTING POOL?" Emily and Hotch shouted in unison.

"Yes, betting pool," Dave responded calmly. "You didn't really thing you could keep this a secret from us, did you? We all knew you both were meant for each other even before you knew it."

"So you guys don't have a problem with this?" Emily asked.

"Are you both happy?" Garcia inquired and both Hotch and Emily nodded their heads. "Then that's all that matters."

"If you want, I'll talk to some of my contacts in the director's office," Dave offered, "That way maybe you two won't get harassed over your relationship."

"Thanks Dave," Hotch said.

The various team members returned to their seats, their excess energy having been burned off. Once they were somewhat alone, Hotch squeezed Emily's hand and wrapped his arms around her. "If this is the result, I think I'm going to have to play these games more often," he told her, before bringing his lips down gently upon hers.

**The End**


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